Hi and Selamat Hari Raya to you all! I think its still not too late to wish Hari Raya right :) Oh how I really love having this kind of 3 months holiday as a uni student, & I can raya all month long! Eventhough my Raya this year was not really good in the beginning since I had quite a bad fever on the first few days of Raya.. but still alhamdulillah still got the chance to raya now hehe.
I think its like the first time after sooo long that I suddenly had a topic to write in mind. Usually, I'd just pour whatever it is in my heart at that time haha. The other day I was on a video call with my friend, and somehow we started to talk about the books that we read growing up, so I started to show some of my books I still kept on the shelves. I felt really happy to be able to share with other people about one of my most favorite and valuable interests, which is my books. Then after, I thought about sharing here a lil bit of the lessons I've learnt from my favorite books that gave really big impact in my life.
So let's start off this first post with a book with the biggest impact, I shall say. The book is......"The Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett. The amazing story behind this favorite book of mine is that.. its not even mine. Haha. I actually borrowed it from my dearest neighbour whom eventually become one of my best friends, Didie. If I'm not mistaken, I'm around 15 years old at that time. Maybe it was after my PMR, so we're like having lots of leisure time. So I was reading another book, Rooftop Rant by Hlovate and in some part of the book, the main character of The Secret Garden, Mary Lennox came up. How Mary found escapisme in the secret garden she found, and how from that point, she eventually found her way out into the happiness of her life.
The version of the book that I read was quite a thick one, and the writing was a classic English one. It basically uses 'thou', 'thee' as pronouns. In summary, the story is about Mary Lennox who lived in India, but had to move to England to live with her uncle after her parents' death. Her uncle lived in a huge mansion, and she never really met him, except once I think. So she was basically living as a lonely girl there, only having a few maids as company. Soon after, Mary started to venture around the mansion and as she explored more and more, she finally found a secret garden, all locked up, where she found Dickon. Dickon is a cheerful young boy, and he is actually the brother of one of Mary's maids. They became friends and Dickon showed Mary that there is more to life. That she can be happy, she can enjoy life, too. Another mystery of the mansion is that, Mary's uncle actually have a son, Colin, who was sick and never got out of her room. He was full of despair, and always throwing tantrums. The most amazing part is how Mary and Dickon finally able to convince Colin to continue living, to let go of his sadness and resentments, and to persevere.
This book really have inspired me and taught me a lot of things. As you started picking up the book and read, you'll find a bitter little girl, fussy and never satisfied with what she got. Moreover, as little Mary lost her parents and went to her distant uncle, she continued living as a lonely girl. Just like how it was back in India. You'd see how she treated the maids with no courtesy, quite rude I would say. But then, as she found the Secret Garden, the red headed robin, Dickon who's always talking to animals and playing his music ( I cant remember what he was playing, haha) , Dickon taught her about life, they took care of the locked-up garden together and made it live again, they played together in the garden, until you can finally see her laugh, and the mansion was somehow no longer a lonely place. So you learnt that even at a place where it seems as if there's no more hope, as if you're alone, there's always a way out..into happiness. You just have to work through it.
Of course the character that played a strong role in triggering all these positive changes in Mary is Dickon. Amazingly, Dickon not only taught Mary to change herself for the better, but the good vibes were so strong that as Mary saw how Colin was, she felt the need to help him to be better too. That was really an important point. I believe one of the critical indicator in being a good person is not only about ourselves, but to the extent that we want good for others too. Eventually, even the grumpy gardener, Ben Weatherstaff became kind to them too haha. Be good to people, even when they weren't really good to you. It's not about them. Doing good even when people don't treat you the same, will bring your heart content. Try it, and feel the warmth inside you :) (of course there's a limit to everything, but that's not the point here, u got it right?)
So I guess that's a few points from this really inspiring book. Of course I can talk about it whole day long, but for the sake of picking up lessons from it, I think this much would be enough. Thank you so much for reading! So what's your favorite book?
It's amazing how I still keep this blog for so long even with the very seldom posts (of about every 3-4 months haha). Nevermind, at least I'm still able to keep track with what I've been doing, rather than no writing at all haha.
So now I'm done with my second year of degree life. This sem is quite a tough one because we're starting to take the Body System subjects. Overall, we'd have to take 6 Body System subjects (if I'm not mistaken). So for this sem, we took Cardiovascular (CVS), Respiratory & Urinary, and Musculoskeletal & Sensory. CVS was the one with the most weightage, with 3 credit hours and topics more than 30++. It was also our last paper during the finals, sooo can you just imagine the suffering we went through hahaha so much topics to finish for the final paper! Alhamdulillah the finals are all done now and let's just pray for the best :)
This semester was a reaaally hectic one for me, talking in terms of society and programme thingy. I realised that I had too much on my back that I decided to take only 1 elective subject, Nutraceuticals when most of my other classmates took both of the elective subjects - Nutra and Cosmetics. But nevermind, I know my limits and I had a goal to achieve, so it doesn't matter if we take a different choice than others, as long as we're sure that's the best for us. And yeah, I'm really grateful I didn't take both elective subjects, with the sudden change of assessment systems, from 40-60 to 60-40 whereby the carrymarks carry 60% and final semester exam only carry 40% of the total marks. This means that more course works, assignments, presentations and lab works which really needed time and focus throughout the semester. No more last minute 'pulun', you know. There are, of course pros and cons of the previous and current systems, but as the system changes, we also should adapt ourselves with the changes. It was tough at the beginning, eh wait. Actually it was tough THROUGHOUT the semester, hahaha and week 13 and 14 were sure like hell. I remembered we had presentations almost every day, with the PBL, online quizzes, assignments submissions and whatnot. Urgh horror. I'm glad we made it alive through all that haha.
But, all in all I think the academic burden for this sem is not really that heavy. For Year 2, I believe the first semester is much more a burden in the academic, because of too much subjects - 9 subjects :-/ So what kept me busy throughout this semester was mostly the society and programme stuffs. I'm currently holding the secretary position for a few things (yeah once started with secretary post, you'll forever be haunted with that post, blergh). For the Pharmacy Students' Society (IPhA), IIUM Kuantan Open Day (IKOD'17) - I really love working with these people of IKOD - , Akar Budi, and also APM for National Pharmacy Debate Championship (NPDC). I really love it that I get to meet and work with lots of people, that you can learn so much from them and improve yourself. Especially for IKOD, our mainboard team consists of students from every kuliyyah, and I can see that we're all different, in a good way, and everyone's really proactive in their work, soo they're really nice to work with :) I hope that everything will run smoothly and everyone can be happy with it!
So, when I look back, it didn't feel like it, but I'm actually about to enter my 3rd year in IIUM Kuantan. How time flies so fast. It feels like just yesterday that I'm a first year in Kuliyyah Pharmacy, I became an IPhA Office Bearer, working with Ayeh in the Welfare Bureau (now Ayeh graduated already! sob sobs) , my SRC election in the 1st semester of 2nd year (and the plot twist post-election thingy haha), now I've ended my second year, and next sem I'm gonna start my clinical years! Going to hospitals, meeting real patients in the hospital, phew nervewrecking.
All in all, throughout all these, I believe I've grown much. Maybe not physically :p but through these lots of bitter sweet experiences, I've learnt, I've changed.. hopefully, for the better. May all of us constantly improve ourselves, for the better, insyaAllah.
Phew what a really really long time since I last updated my blog. The previous post was like, last year? Haha. I can't believe it's 2017 already. & I'm 21 years old this year! Wow it's hard for me to believe in that number. I still remember how I started blogging in my teen years, when I was in form 2. Now 6 years already passed. Wow
Now I'm already in my 2nd year of Pharmacy, right about entering the 2nd semester for this year. You know, as you go along, you started to love uni life more and more. Well, of course, the stress and struggles are inevitable. That's just the norm of being a student. But as you go further, you started to nurture true love and passion towards the field that you chose.
Like for me, as I went into my 2nd year of studies, I started to feel the passion in Pharmacy. Well, to be exact, it started during Akar Budi last year ( a community service kinda program where we stayed at a village and had a foster family there). During Akar Budi, we had a subprogramme which is Home Medication Review (HMR). We went in teams to selected houses along with pharmacists from Malaysian Pharmaceutical Society and also pharmacists from the Hosp Rompin if I'm not mistaken. So we went to visit the villagers to check on their medications, whether they comply with their medications or not, how they store their meds, do they really know what meds they're actually taking, & other safety precautions regarding their medication regime.
So during the home visit, I kinda get really excited coz it's like I'm able to see how pharmacist actually work and deal with patients. Yea la all this while just spending time in lectures learning theory and only lil bit of practicals ( tu pun lecturers yang jd patient kita haha ) in 3rd year later only we'll go for hospital attachments. So given this kinda opportunity, I get really excited and started to have the passion in pharmacy.
& then few days ago I just got back from Indonesia, where we had an educational trip to Jogjakarta & Bandung. During the 8 days of the visit, we spent some time to visit a few unis (Uni Gadjah Mada, Uni Padjadjaran, UMY) , UGM Hospital, and a few community pharmacies there. Visiting the pharmaceutical places at Indon really opened my eyes to a new perspective. Coz back there, the people are more focused on the Industrial Pharmacy, compared to us in Malaysia focusing more on Clinical Pharmacy. So the people in Indon are intensely focusing on research to come up with new products for the purpose of industrial field. It really is interesting visiting their labs and looking at what they're doing. For most of the researches, they're doing pharmacognosy, which is using natural resources as the starting compound in finding the lead for a new product. So then again, I get more and more interested as we're able to venture into the real field of pharmacy, real as in outside class, the real practice of it.
The meds in the satellite pharmacy in UGM hospital
was seriously thinking deeply on what 'Instalasi Rawat Jalan' actually meant haha
One of the community pharmacy that we visited, also UGM's
I pity this blog for being so much abandoned by me, but haih what to do, I'm seriously such a lazy lad. Especially during these 3 months holidays - like what have I been doing?! Hahaha nothing good. Just some short 'Jalan jalan cari makan' here and there, and meeting up with my loved ones, of course over a meal, yet I'm still not gaining any weight -.-
With the state of my blog being rarely updated and almost totally abandoned, it does surprise me quite a lot to know recently that there's still people reading my blog here. Well, at least there is a person who told me that. Maybe that person is the only one who's still reading haha. It bothers me more knowing there's ppl who read my blog since lately I've been pouring out my feelings and thoughts here with no reservation. And I believe tonight I'll be doing the same thing, again. Since I'm in the mood to rant but the one who I want to rant to aint available so let me just rant here hahaha #sadlife
The reason why I'm still writing here, even not so often, is that I love the idea of having a documentation of my past experiences and feelings. During school years, it didn't matter if I had no posts up here in my blog since I have a diary, and occasionally it's easier for me to write down my diary right there and then since I'm always having the diary with me. But with the state of my life now, hmm even the planner I bought early this year was not used. So I figured I better write it here, only whenever I'm not that lazy though haha
I've been reading this one book, 'The Brain' recently and it kinda explains about the human memory. Our brain cells - called neurons - are of finite number. Which means that, it does not increase in number, it does not replenish or renew once the cells are dead. Unlike most of other cells in our body which constantly renew and replace the dead ones. So how our brain stores our memory is that, by the linkage of neurons. The stronger the links between the neurons that form a certain memory, the stronger the memory will retain in our head. Unfortunately, due to the finite number of cells, our memories gotta compete with each other to ensure they stay in our brain. Those memories that are less recalled by our brain, will cause the linkage between neurons forming that memory to be weaker. Thus, new memories will eventually take up the neurons to form new linkages for new memories. Eventually, your old memories will be forgotten..
Sad, right. But what's even worse is that your brain can also be tricked into believing in false memories. Like if your provide someone with false memories about something, they can actually take that up and consider it as the real one.
It's a sad thing - at least for me - to not remember our own past, when in fact they are a part of us, they are what make us who we are now, in the present. And truth to be told, I am a really forgetful person,
and to you, I ask of you to not let me forget you, forever.
Of wishful tales | Thursday, April 21, 2016
I haven't been writing for so long, mainly due to the packed schedule I'm having now. But truth is I really miss writing because it is one of the best ways to express myself, and somehow one of the ways to compose my feelings too. Due to my nature of bottling up my feelings most of the time, thus without writing it out, those feelings piled up and sometimes suffocate me.
So I finally get a chance to write something this evening but I'm quite hesitating whether to write about this issue or not. Well, here it goes..
In a relationship, you can't expect to always be happy. You can't expect a smooth sailing with no arguments or disagreements at all. And most importantly, you can't expect to not get hurt. I'm not someone who's entitled enough to talk about relationships or whatnot but what I'm trying to write in this post is merely my humble opinion. I've came across this quote saying 'It's impossible to not get hurt. You just have to find someone who's worth the hurt' or something like that, sort of. My point is, in a relationship, even with the so-called 'Mr. Right' doesn't guarantee you happiness all along the way. There will always be ups and downs, shines and storms that both of you have to go through together.
And you know what, all those love/relationship quotes on twitter or other social medias, don't believe in them too much. Don't believe in those quotes that say 'the guy who texts/calls you every 2 hrs just to make sure you're okay are the best guys' or 'the guy who praises you all the time are the best ones'. Stop using those Disney fairy tales as your dreams on how your love life should be. The reality is just not like that. I'm not trying to crush all your dreams or what, but my point here is that, a good relationship doesn't necessarily have to be according to those relationships that are portrayed in the medias. It is something so abstract, appreciating the huge variations in human behaviors, and their different capacities in expressing love and care to another person.
The most important thing in a relationship for me is, to really understand your partner and to be able to accept them the way they are. But that does not deny the fact that as a human, we must always improve ourselves and do our best not to hurt others. Because as long as we live, there will always be room for improvement. Both people in a relationship should accept each other, and at the same time improve themselves in any aspects that they lack of.
And when we talk about relationship, concerning our hearts and feelings, of course, way before talking about what we can do, what we should do, first thing first is to ask to Him, the owner of all hearts, to guide us in our choice as He is The Most Knowing - even the feelings that we ourselves are unable to fathom, are never hidden from His knowledge.
How's life, kiddo? | Monday, October 26, 2015
Just because I should be finishing my assignment but I'm so sleepy but I can't let myself go to sleep so.. let's write a post here instead. Sooo how's life now? People often tell us that we should be happy when we get something we really wanted. By that being said, then I should be happy to be accepted into pharmacy school but still... I'm not really that enthusiastic in becoming a pharmacist haha. Even with the subjects that I'm taking for this semester, I enjoy anatomy and physiology much more than pharmacy practice haha I dunno why. Maybe because pharm prac involves mainly calculation and mere memorisation... two things I hate the most.
Forget about that, I don't think that's a major problem coz I still get excited getting my own workplace and preparing medicines even though I suck at remembering the latin abbreviations on the prescription and calculating the correct doses hahaha like urghh. So it doesn't mean that I don't have any interest in this course, I just hate some parts of the subjects. I think I can bear with it, haha insyaAllah.
All in all, I think I'm starting to enjoy my life now, I guess? Haha still unsure of myself. I mean, yeah, UIA Kuantan ni not bad la. Even though tak meriah mcm Gombak, budak-budak nerd skema sikit, tp environment dia still okay. There are also lots of programmes here too, like we're just done with our IIUM Kuantan Open Day (IKOD) in early October and it was really fun! I get to really enjoy the fun mostly coz I became one of the committees so I'll be at the venue like early in the morning and go back to mahallah only when its late at night soo I've got the chance to really feel the vibe. I even get to meet IIUM students from Gombak, mostly foreigners and had a kinda funny conversation with a guy from Kenya hahaha good memories.
Once in a while, interesting days like that come by. But our usual days will be filled with classes during daytime and lotsa meetings for programmes, societies, usrah and language classes during night. And I'll always go to bed right after I arrived at mahallah and dunno when did I actually study!! Pastu bila bangun lewat time pagi selalu stress sebab tak sempat nak buat pre and post reading hahaha ngeng kan.
Kesimpulannya ; Eliessa sangatlah ngeng and I dunno if I can survive pharmacy school or not adui
Semoga Allah permudahkan. amin.
My tiniest hope | Sunday, August 2, 2015
I hope my absence would mean something to you
Even if you wouldn't say it out loud
Even if it's just a tiny little feeling of emptiness in the corner of your heart