Begin Again | Monday, January 30, 2017


Phew what a really really long time since I last updated my blog. The previous post was like, last year? Haha. I can't believe it's 2017 already. & I'm 21 years old this year! Wow it's hard for me to believe in that number. I still remember how I started blogging in my teen years, when I was in form 2. Now 6 years already passed. Wow

Now I'm already in my 2nd year of Pharmacy, right about entering the 2nd semester for this year. You know, as you go along, you started to love uni life more and more. Well, of course, the stress and struggles are inevitable. That's just the norm of being a student. But as you go further, you started to nurture true love and passion towards the field that you chose.

Like for me, as I went into my 2nd year of studies, I started to feel the passion in Pharmacy. Well, to be exact, it started during Akar Budi last year ( a community service kinda program where we stayed at a village and had a foster family there). During Akar Budi, we had a subprogramme which is Home Medication Review (HMR). We went in teams to selected houses along with pharmacists from Malaysian Pharmaceutical Society and also pharmacists from the Hosp Rompin if I'm not mistaken. So we went to visit the villagers to check on their medications, whether they comply with their medications or not, how they store their meds, do they really know what meds they're actually taking, & other safety precautions regarding their medication regime.

So during the home visit, I kinda get really excited coz it's like I'm able to see how pharmacist actually work and deal with patients. Yea la all this while just spending time in lectures learning theory and only lil bit of practicals ( tu pun lecturers yang jd patient kita haha ) in 3rd year later only we'll go for hospital attachments. So given this kinda opportunity, I get really excited and started to have the passion in pharmacy.

& then few days ago I just got back from Indonesia, where we had an educational trip to Jogjakarta & Bandung. During the 8 days of the visit, we spent some time to visit a few unis (Uni Gadjah Mada, Uni Padjadjaran, UMY) , UGM Hospital, and a few community pharmacies there. Visiting the pharmaceutical places at Indon really opened my eyes to a new perspective. Coz back there, the people are more focused on the Industrial Pharmacy, compared to us in Malaysia focusing more on Clinical Pharmacy. So the people in Indon are intensely focusing on research to come up with new products for the purpose of industrial field. It really is interesting visiting their labs and looking at what they're doing. For most of the researches, they're doing pharmacognosy, which is using natural resources as the starting compound in finding the lead for a new product. So then again, I get more and more interested as we're able to venture into the real field of pharmacy, real as in outside class, the real practice of it.

The meds in the satellite pharmacy in UGM hospital

was seriously thinking deeply on what 'Instalasi Rawat Jalan' actually meant haha

One of the community pharmacy that we visited, also UGM's
Pharmacy Faculty of UGM rocks!

Memories | Friday, August 12, 2016


I pity this blog for being so much abandoned by me, but haih what to do, I'm seriously such a lazy lad. Especially during these 3 months holidays - like what have I been doing?! Hahaha nothing good. Just some short 'Jalan jalan cari makan' here and there, and meeting up with my loved ones, of course over a meal, yet I'm still not gaining any weight -.-

With the state of my blog being rarely updated and almost totally abandoned, it does surprise me quite a lot to know recently that there's still people reading my blog here. Well, at least there is a person who told me that. Maybe that person is the only one who's still reading haha. It bothers me more knowing there's ppl who read my blog since lately I've been pouring out my feelings and thoughts here with no reservation. And I believe tonight I'll be doing the same thing, again. Since I'm in the mood to rant but the one who I want to rant to aint available so let me just rant here hahaha #sadlife

The reason why I'm still writing here, even not so often, is that I love the idea of having a documentation of my past experiences and feelings. During school years, it didn't matter if I had no posts up here in my blog since I have a diary, and occasionally it's easier for me to write down my diary right there and then since I'm always having the diary with me. But with the state of my life now, hmm even the planner I bought early this year was not used. So I figured I better write it here, only whenever I'm not that lazy though haha

I've been reading this one book, 'The Brain' recently and it kinda explains about the human memory. Our brain cells - called neurons - are of finite number. Which means that, it does not increase in number, it does not replenish or renew once the cells are dead. Unlike most of other cells in our body which constantly renew and replace the dead ones. So how our brain stores our memory is that, by the linkage of neurons. The stronger the links between the neurons that form a certain memory, the stronger the memory will retain in our head. Unfortunately, due to the finite number of cells, our memories gotta compete with each other to ensure they stay in our brain. Those memories that are less recalled by our brain, will cause the linkage between neurons forming that memory to be weaker. Thus, new memories will eventually take up the neurons to form new linkages for new memories. Eventually, your old memories will be forgotten..

Sad, right. But what's even worse is that your brain can also be tricked into believing in false memories. Like if your provide someone with false memories about something, they can actually take that up and consider it as the real one.

It's a sad thing - at least for me - to not remember our own past, when in fact they are a part of us, they are what make us who we are now, in the present. And truth to be told, I am a really forgetful person,
and to you, I ask of you to not let me forget you, forever.

Of wishful tales | Thursday, April 21, 2016

I haven't been writing for so long, mainly due to the packed schedule I'm having now. But truth is I really miss writing because it is one of the best ways to express myself, and somehow one of the ways to compose my feelings too. Due to my nature of bottling up my feelings most of the time, thus without writing it out, those feelings piled up and sometimes suffocate me.

So I finally get a chance to write something this evening but I'm quite hesitating whether to write about this issue or not. Well, here it goes..

In a relationship, you can't expect to always be happy. You can't expect a smooth sailing with no arguments or disagreements at all. And most importantly, you can't expect to not get hurt. I'm not someone who's entitled enough to talk about relationships or whatnot but what I'm trying to write in this post is merely my humble opinion. I've came across this quote saying 'It's impossible to not get hurt. You just have to find someone who's worth the hurt' or something like that, sort of. My point is, in a relationship, even with the so-called 'Mr. Right' doesn't guarantee you happiness all along the way. There will always be ups and downs, shines and storms that both of you have to go through together. 

And you know what, all those love/relationship quotes on twitter or other social medias, don't believe in them too much. Don't believe in those quotes that say 'the guy who texts/calls you every 2 hrs just to make sure you're okay are the best guys' or 'the guy who praises you all the time are the best ones'. Stop using those Disney fairy tales as your dreams on how your love life should be. The reality is just not like that. I'm not trying to crush all your dreams or what, but my point here is that, a good relationship doesn't necessarily have to be according to those relationships that are portrayed in the medias. It is something so abstract, appreciating the huge variations in human behaviors, and their different capacities in expressing love and care to another person.

The most important thing in a relationship for me is, to really understand your partner and to be able to accept them the way they are. But that does not deny the fact that as a human, we must always improve ourselves and do our best not to hurt others. Because as long as we live, there will always be room for improvement. Both people in a relationship should accept each other, and at the same time improve themselves in any aspects that they lack of.

And when we talk about relationship, concerning our hearts and feelings, of course, way before talking about what we can do, what we should do, first thing first is to ask to Him, the owner of all hearts, to guide us in our choice as He is The Most Knowing - even the feelings that we ourselves are unable to fathom, are never hidden from His knowledge. 

How's life, kiddo? | Monday, October 26, 2015


Just because I should be finishing my assignment but I'm so sleepy but I can't let myself go to sleep so.. let's write a post here instead. Sooo how's life now? People often tell us that we should be happy when we get something we really wanted. By that being said, then I should be happy to be accepted into pharmacy school but still... I'm not really that enthusiastic in becoming a pharmacist haha. Even with the subjects that I'm taking for this semester, I enjoy anatomy and physiology much more than pharmacy practice haha I dunno why. Maybe because pharm prac involves mainly calculation and mere memorisation... two things I hate the most.

Forget about that, I don't think that's a major problem coz I still get excited getting my own workplace and preparing medicines even though I suck at remembering the latin abbreviations on the prescription and calculating the correct doses hahaha like urghh. So it doesn't mean that I don't have any interest in this course, I just hate some parts of the subjects. I think I can bear with it, haha insyaAllah.

All in all, I think I'm starting to enjoy my life now, I guess? Haha still unsure of myself. I mean, yeah, UIA Kuantan ni not bad la. Even though tak meriah mcm Gombak, budak-budak nerd skema sikit, tp environment dia still okay. There are also lots of programmes here too, like we're just done with our IIUM Kuantan Open Day (IKOD) in early October and it was really fun! I get to really enjoy the fun mostly coz I became one of the committees so I'll be at the venue like early in the morning and go back to mahallah only when its late at night soo I've got the chance to really feel the vibe. I even get to meet IIUM students from Gombak, mostly foreigners and had a kinda funny conversation with a guy from Kenya hahaha good memories.

Once in a while, interesting days like that come by. But our usual days will be filled with classes during daytime and lotsa meetings for programmes, societies, usrah and language classes during night. And I'll always go to bed right after I arrived at mahallah and dunno when did I actually study!! Pastu bila bangun lewat time pagi selalu stress sebab tak sempat nak buat pre and post reading hahaha ngeng kan.

Kesimpulannya ; Eliessa sangatlah ngeng and I dunno if I can survive pharmacy school or not adui
Semoga Allah permudahkan. amin.

My tiniest hope | Sunday, August 2, 2015

At least, 
I hope my absence would mean something to you
Even if you wouldn't say it out loud
Even if it's just a tiny little feeling of emptiness in the corner of your heart
At least.

But if you turn out to be just fine, 
Wouldn't that break my heart into pieces? 

Closing in or parting away? | Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Do the differences between us make us grow closer or part us away?
I wonder,
Oh how I wonder.

My thoughts are all jumbled up, it's really a mess in there I couldn't lay them in a good organized post. Talking about the complex human mind made me think of the movie 'Inside Out'. Atha was the one who showed us the trailer of that movie in class that day and everyone was really excited haha. Movie tu like comel gilaaaa and crazy and exciting all at the same time!! Haha tak sabar gua nak tengok.

You know, do you ever feel like really wanting to understand someone? Like you really really want to know how he/she feels and how do they react to your thoughts and opinions? Macam kalau boleh nak baca fikiran orang. But then you gave up halfway when you realised it's just so hard to understand and seeing more and more differences between you two. Even if you were in their shoes, you would see it differently and act totally different. Haiz :-/ It's like at one moment you felt like you're the one who knows that person best, but then after that you started to realize the differences and suddenly see how far apart you two are.

And then you decided to walk away, pushing everything to the back of your mind, trying to forget it all.
and the story just ends there.

Hahaha sorry cerita hari ni sangat sedih. Hari ni mood sedih kay. Semoga berjumpa lagi dengan cerita yang lebih inspiring and uplifting.

Cubaan si pipit | Wednesday, June 3, 2015


Saat yang lain menebarkan sayap menjadi helang, si pipit ini masih bertatih, dalam usaha untuk berbakti pada yang memerlukan. Malam ni menulis sambil dengar Soutul Mujahideen, sebab rindu bumi waqafan T-T

Alhamdulillah dah selesai program 4 hari kat sekolah lama, kemain nama program dia, "Grab The Moon" Hahaha ni keje bebudak ni la bagi nama suka hati je. Sebenarnya memang tertulis dlm wish list pun, nak pegi sekolah tolong cikgu-cikgu, cuba jadi 'Alumni yang berbakti' gittew. So bila diorang ajak jadi fasi untuk program ni memang saya tidak dapat menahan rasa keterujaan dalam hati haha. Walaupun saya dah jadi alumni sekolah awal-awal lagi, yelah lepas form 3 dah keluar sekolah en. Tapi diorang panggil jugak untuk tolong adik adik muehehe.

Alhamdulillah, ya Allah memang rasa syukur sangat lah sebab semuanya Allah permudahkan. Walaupun kena ajar balik addmaths, chem, bio, physics SPM yang mcm dah agak kabur gara-gara pendekatan berbeza waktu asasi ni, alhamdulillah adik adik bagi kerjasama yang memang daebak lah! Hehehe. Mula-mula cuak jugak sebab macam ingat-ingat lupa je silibus form 4 form 5 ni, tapi bila duduk dengan diorang, jawab soalan sama-sama, perbincangan tu memang 'hidup' lah. Takde lah krik krik sangat eheh. Walaupun ada sesetengah tajuk yang diorang blur-blur, tapi bila ditanya memang diorang cuba untuk jawab, dan bila kita explain alhamdulillah diorang dapat terima. Part yang susah skit sebabnya diorang belajar semua subjek ni dalam BM so nak translate term BI ke BM tu, kita pulak yang terkial-kial mencari perkataan tu ahaha. Completing the square - penyempurnaan kuasa dua, haha.

Last sekali cikgu bagi borang feedback kat diorang, taktahu lah en diorang kasi feedback cemana pasal program ni. Lagi-lagi dengan Kak Farah ni, bila diorang tanya bukannya nak jawab, instead ditanya balik soalan kt diorang hahaha. Memang saja je buat mcm tu, sebab rasanya cara camtu akan buat diorang lagi faham. Biasanya student ni dah faham dah basic concept, cuma kadang-kadang tak yakin, ragu-ragu, ada konfius sikit kat sana sini. So bila kita tanya balik kat dia dan mintak dia cuba explain dulu apa yg dia faham instead of terus bg jawapan kt dia, insyaAllah dia boleh nampak sebenarnya dia kurang jelas bahagian mana, pastu senang sikit nak bagi clear konsep2 tu dan susun all the jigsaw puzzle pieces. Cara macam ni saya belajar dari cikgu fizik paling best paling syok, Cikgu Shafinar Haron hehehe. Memang ingat sampai bila-bila. Mula mula memang cuak, tak berani nak gi tanya sbb nanti kena tanya balik. Tapi bila cikgu buat cmtu, mmg lagi senang faham, and mula dr situ memang jd minat gila physics ^_^

And one thing, bila join program dengan adik-adik ni, mesti Farah Eliessa ni jadi di kalangan adik adik jugak. Hahaha ya Allah keciknya rasa bila adik adik form 5 jauh lebih tinggi. Hari tu dgn adik adik sek rendah takde la obvious sangat, kahkah. Walau apa pun, kak Farah tetap sayang adik-adik. Hehehe.

Semoga usaha kecil kita ini diberkati, dan dapat memberikan impak yang besar pada mereka yang memerlukan. Semoga Allah sentiasa membimbing kita ke arah kebaikan, menjadikan kita hamba yang bermanfaat buat hamba yg lain. Kerana sesungguhnya, diri kita ini bukan lah milik kita, tapi kita ini hambaNya yang dicipta buat ummah, buat mereka yang lain.

Have a lovely day everyone! May Allah bless.

Credits: Steffanie|Tutorials|Tumblr inspired layout